Unfortunately, in this day and age, we need to teach our children how to stand up for themselves and be assertive if they ever come in contact with a child molester. Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere, with anyone, at any time so it is extremely important to teach your children what to do if they are ever put in such a horrific situation. Here are 7 tips to help deter sexual abuse.

1. “No! Stop!” and walk away. A predator is more likely to go after a child they think is vulnerable- someone they think will not stand up to them- so teach your child to be assertive by using the phrase above and walking away. Role play with your child what they can say and do. Show them how to get angry by frowning, clenching their fists and stomping their feet and let them act it out with you. Make sure to praise them for being “powerful” and “strong.”
2. Use a doll to demonstrate inappropriate touch. Show them where on the doll’s body is good touch and bad touch. Also talk to them about inappropriate kissing. Rehearse with them again what they should say and do if someone tries to touch them inappropriately or if that someone wants your child to touch him/her in an inappropriate way.
3. Teach them that their body parts are private. Tell them that only Mommy and Daddy can see them naked and let them know when it is okay to not have clothes on- for example, when taking a shower, while changing, or while at the doctor’s office when Mommy or Daddy are there with the doctor. Let them know that it is not okay for anyone else to see them without their clothes on unless Mommy or Daddy says it is okay.
4. Don’t force your children to kiss or hug family or friends. If your child does not feel comfortable being affectionate with someone, that’s okay. Sometimes children can pick up on cues and by forcing them to be affectionate when they don’t feel comfortable doing so, sends your child the wrong message.
5. Tell your child it is safe for him/her to tell you anything- that there are no secrets between you. A predator (an adult or child) may tell your child to keep a secret and may even threaten your child, telling your child that he/she will hurt/kill them or hurt/kill you or other family members if your child tells anyone. Tell your child that this is not true and make sure he/she knows that it is safe for him/her to tell you anything- secrets included.
6. Reassure your child that he/she will not get into trouble if they tell you. This tip ties in well with the above one. The guilt your child may feel if he/she was abused can be overwhelming. Your child inherently knows that what happened was wrong so may be afraid to tell you. Make sure your child knows that he/she won’t get into trouble and reassure them again that it is okay for him/her to tell you anything.
7. Tell them to use these “power tools” with anyone, even if the person is an adult or child that they know, love or are friends with. Sexual abuse usually occurs with a person the child knows and trusts so it is extremely important that they know to apply these tools with everyone.

Sadly, not all sexual abuse can be prevented, but empowering your child with techniques like these might help deter such abuse from occurring. If your child or someone you know has been sexually abused, we can help. Please call Creative Solutions 4 Kids at (954) 832-3602. We are located in Hollywood, Florida.

Alicia Emamdee is the author of the YA Romance novel, “Aloha Self-Esteem?” which is created specifically for teen girls and the challenges they face with regards to their self-esteem in our society today. Written as a love story, the book provides ways to help increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence.